One-Liners

• "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet" .... Robin Williams'
• "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Yeah ... me neither" ... Steve Martin
• "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand" ... Woody Allen
• "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night" ... Rodney Dangerfield
• "Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope" ... George Burns
• "Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships" ... Sharon Stone
• "My girlfriend always laughs during sex --- no mater what she's reading" ... Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
• "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch" ... Jack Nicholson
• "Clinton lied! A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is" ... Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady ... and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
• "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself" ... Roseanne
• "Women need to have a reason to have sex. Men just need a place" ... Billy Crystal
• "According to a new survey, women say the feel more comfortable undressing in front of men that the do undressing in front of other women. They say women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful" ... Robert De Niro
• "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house" ... Rod Stewart
• "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough brood to run one at a time" ... Robin Williams