More Stereotypical Blonde Humor

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
-Blonde: "What's the story?"
-He: "Just crap in the carburetor"
-Blonde: "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
A blonde out for a walk comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "Hellooooo!! You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous redhead goes to the doctor's office and said her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
-Doctor said: "You're not really a redhead, are you?
-Blonde: "Well, no, I'm actually a blonde."
-Doctor: "I thought so; your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, & a Blo nde were talking one day.
-Russian: "We were the first in space!"
-American: "We were the first on the moon!"
-Blonde: "So what? We'll be the first on the sun!"
-Russian:"You can't land on the sun, you'll burn up!"
-Blonde: "We're not stupid; we're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"