A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.  On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.  "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative:  He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services:  He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services:  He said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing:  Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer:  He understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration:  He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing:  Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist:  All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist:  All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector:  All he ever did was ... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
She said, "You're a lawyer.  This time I know I'm gonna get SCREWED!"
 
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